Today marks 14 years since you stepped into eternity. Some days it feels like a million years since I have seen your smile. Some days the pain of your absence feels like it started yesterday.
I still scratch my head and wonder why you had to go so soon. I no longer am angry that you were taken too early. I can now see how your death forced me to learn new things, grow in my faith, and allow other people to become my family. I just wish things could have been different. I try to encourage people around me to be thankful that their parents are around. They can’t truly comprehend what I am saying, but they are gracious in listening to me remind them what a blessing it is to have parents that are alive.
You would be so proud of your grandkids. It breaks my heart when I talk about you that the boys don’t have any idea of who you are. I have to remind them every time that they have never met you. Ashley is a knockout. She is also strong willed, intuitive, and in many areas of life, wise beyond her years. Samuel is kind hearted and musical. That kid can play the drums! When he puts on his glasses and flashes me a smile, I see you. Josiah is a kick! He makes us laugh all the time. He has silly facial expressions and comes up with one liners that have us rolling. He is also fiercely competitive yet a snuggler. Daniel is a thinker and very artistic. He can draw, paint, and sculpt. He has your artistic side.
Josh and I are doing great. I know when you passed you were worried. I am here to tell you, no need to worry. Josh is a wonderful husband and father. He is my biggest cheerleader, sounding board, helpmate, and comic relief on call. Over the last 14 years we have been through 2 pregnancies, 3 babies, 2 moves, 3 career changes, 4 deaths, a tumor scare, heath issues, calling struggles, and financial trials. Through it all it has caused our love for one another to deepen.
Mom, I miss you. I miss talking to you. I miss your wisdom. I miss your expertise. I miss your hugs. I wish we could sit and talk about life. I wish I could call you to come help me clean my kitchen.
Thanks for being my mom for 25 years. Thanks for showing me how to trust Jesus with every aspect of my life.
I love you.